It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
smell my finger.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
