Don't make out with my wife yet
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
