used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
