Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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