Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?