I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY