I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.