How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
