good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
