its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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