4 words: hood of his car
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
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im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
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Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...