just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.