i'm home, then i'll come over
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.