Texts From Last Night

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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...

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  (778): yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet... http://tfl.nu/488j
  Replies (29) Good night (3485) Bad night (1636)
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  (714): View more from California

  She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.

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  (714): She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep. http://tfl.nu/k8wl
  Replies (17) Good night (6839) Bad night (2284)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......

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  (571): how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days...... http://tfl.nu/e1u4
  Replies (10) Good night (3589) Bad night (1748)
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  (661): View more from California

  Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.

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  (661): Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat. http://tfl.nu/08yi
  Replies (5) Good night (1010) Bad night (2447)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.

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  (504): Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now. http://tfl.nu/h0mp
  Replies (9) Good night (2986) Bad night (945)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.

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  (203): Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka. http://tfl.nu/23cb
  Replies (5) Good night (1916) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard

  (972): View more from Texas

  OHHH and there was a Batman too.

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  (972): The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard (972): OHHH and there was a Batman too. http://tfl.nu/jx09
  Replies (13) Good night (1459) Bad night (689)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.

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  (570): yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain. http://tfl.nu/u0x1
  Replies (4) Good night (1195) Bad night (542)
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  (619): View more from California

  Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.

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  (619): Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates. http://tfl.nu/i6q4
  Replies (4) Good night (1808) Bad night (564)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?

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  (856): I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police? http://tfl.nu/pr1m
  Replies (5) Good night (1218) Bad night (870)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you

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  (574): No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you http://tfl.nu/4deb
  Replies (3) Good night (538) Bad night (1153)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.

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  (253): If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat. http://tfl.nu/66de
  Replies (2) Good night (352) Bad night (716)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.

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  (541): If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick. http://tfl.nu/cd0z
  Replies (2) Good night (721) Bad night (386)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.

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  (412): we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon. http://tfl.nu/xou6
  Replies (6) Good night (474) Bad night (636)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.

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  (612): I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist. http://tfl.nu/coy1
  Replies (2) Good night (577) Bad night (383)

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