you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
