I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
