So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
