Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He has the fingertips of a God
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
