The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
