I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
