Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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