I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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