Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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