Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
