ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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