Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
