He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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