You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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