I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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