Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
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Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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