I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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