TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
