I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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