i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
