Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
