I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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