you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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