I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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