My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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