OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
