Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
