dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
