I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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