I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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