Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
