who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
More tranny stories later!
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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