Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I think people are normalizing furries
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
