Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
