idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
