You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize