Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
