I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
