Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
