I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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