i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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