Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize