Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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