my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
