u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
