he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
