Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize