I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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