she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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