We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
