Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
