Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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